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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28350009">'tis the damn season</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/nextstopparis/pseuds/nextstopparis'>nextstopparis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>merthur week [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, dey r so in love i will PUKE</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:48:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,830</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28350009</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/nextstopparis/pseuds/nextstopparis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t see why that matters,” Merlin says, because he’s a horribly horrible boyfriend, and Arthur takes back everything he has ever said that implies otherwise, “if you’re going to be dead.”</p>
<p>For Day 6 of Merthur Week 2020: "Can I uncover my eyes yet?" + Humour</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>merthur week [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067786</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Merthur Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>'tis the damn season</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I literally do not understand the difference between fun and crack and humour. I don't know what they are or why they have different names. oh my god.</p>
<p>title from - u fuckin guessed it - taylor swift's 'tis the damn season'</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arthur lets out an irritated sigh and pulls the sleeves of his jumper over his hands as a last ditch effort to not rip this wretched cloth off his face. “Can I uncover my eyes yet?”</p>
<p>Perhaps the tone of his voice is a little more petulant and a little less <em> This Is A Demand Posed As A Question </em> than he’d like, but really - it doesn’t matter at all since his boyfriend never bloody listens to him, anyway.</p>
<p>“Can you <em> be patient, </em> for once in your life?” Merlin snipes back, completely and utterly predictably. Arthur wants to tell him how predictable he is, except Merlin’s also spiteful, so he might run them off the road on a whim, and Arthur is <em> really </em> not in the mood to face death right now.</p>
<p>Of course, despite the complete predictability of it, his frustration still spikes (and wouldn’t Merlin just be <em> so smug, </em> that the one ammunition Arthur has against him - how easily he can guess his next move - matters not at all, because if there’s one thing Merlin has <em> never </em> been an idiot at, it’s making Arthur react).</p>
<p>(Which, actually, Arthur tries <em> very hard </em> to not think about how giddy it actually makes him. There’s just something about knowing someone so well and yet have them still effect you so; have them be just as frustratingly surprising as ever. Nothing’s ever a surprise, but there’s always still a rush that shoots up his spine, even after three years.)</p>
<p>(But if anyone asks it’s <em> annoying </em> and nothing else at all. He is <em> not </em> letting Merlin turn him into a sap in front of people. How embarrassing.) </p>
<p>“It’s been <em> two hours, </em> ” he says - with a lot of feeling, just to let Merlin know exactly how ridiculous he’s being. “I think we’re well past the point of patience -”</p>
<p>(they <em> are </em> -)</p>
<p>“Oh, you big baby, it’s only been fifteen minutes -” </p>
<p>“<em>Fifteen minutes </em> -! Christ, Merlin! When you tell someone to cover their eyes, it usually takes <em> two </em> minutes to uncover them! Not fifteen!” </p>
<p>“Well it’s still not two hours, you prat!” And perhaps there are better places to argue like this - places not in a car on an icy road (not that Arthur can <em> see </em> the bloody road, mind) - but really, where’s the fun in that? Who needs <em> safety </em> when the chance to rile up one’s boyfriend (who, really, aside from the very kidnappy approach and Arthur’s well known impatience, is doing a rather nice thing) is right within one’s grasp?</p>
<p>“I was hyperbolizing! You do know what that is, don't you? Oh I suppose I shouldn't expect a peasant to -”</p>
<p>“<em>God </em> , you’re such a prat,” Merlin says, almost under his breath, but Arthur hears it. That, and the <em> prat prat pratty prat prat </em> between the lines, too. “And a bloody english major <em> snob</em>, of course I know what a hyperbole is!”</p>
<p>The smile tugging at his lips is getting harder and harder to disguise as exasperation and annoyance, but Arthur truly believes he’s been doing an impressive job at it, so far. Especially with all things considered. </p>
<p>(Things including the obvious smile colouring Merlin’s own exasperated voice, and the adorable - not that Arthur would ever call anything Merlin does <em> adorable</em>, obviously - squeak in his voice when he says ‘of course’, and the fact that this is the first time they’re out, <em> alone</em>, since before finals, and - dammit - Arthur’s missed this: their back and forths and Merlin’s presence and - christ this is embarrassing.)</p>
<p>“Well then what was so bloody confusing about -”</p>
<p>A quiet <em> oh my god </em> rushes out of Merlin’s lips, and Arthur doesn’t think he’s indulging himself by thinking that it sounds more like a breathy laugh, than anything else.  “With all due respect, love, shut the fuck up. We’re almost there, anyway.”</p>
<p>Arthur groans and allows himself to fake a small cry (which only gets him a flick on the nose from Merlin) (shouldn’t he have both hands on the wheel, and all that rot?), before sighing and slumping back down in the car seat. It’s actually quite nice, sitting and talking with Merlin with no immediate concern in his mind (well, besides this damn surprise his boyfriend has <em>insisted</em> upon). </p>
<p>It takes them eight more minutes (Arthur makes sure to time it so that he can complain about the exact time, later) to get to wherever it is they’re going. During that time, they let the christmas music neither of them are too fond of, but don’t despise enough to renounce, fill the silence. Also during that time, Merlin’s hand finds its way from the wheel and right into Arthurs (yes, it's okay for one hand to not be on the wheel when it's clasping Arthur's, and not <em>assaulting him</em>. Arthur never said he wasn't a hypocrite). </p>
<p>As the car (finally) comes to a halt, Merlin untangles their fingers, and instead uses that hand to card through Arthur’s hair. A second later, Arthur feels a peck on his cheek, and tries very hard to not smile down at his empty hand and blush.</p>
<p>(<em>Embarrassing!</em>)</p>
<p>Merlin moves away, opening his door, and says, “alright, let me just - open the door for you. So you don’t slip, and - don't you dare take it off!” Which is a direct insult to his character because he was only trying to itch the patch of skin below his eye, that <em>just happens</em> to be under the damned cloth! Not take it off! Truly character defamation at its finest.</p>
<p>“Christ, I wasn't going to!” </p>
<p>Merlin makes a disbelieving noise as he exits the car, and Arthur lets himself chuckle. But only a little bit. Honestly, despite all his grouching, it feels quite nice to have Merlin do something like this for him. He hasn’t felt this content for weeks, and he's missed spending this much time with Merlin - for something not school related, mind - a lot.</p>
<p>And, if the surprise itself is anything to go by, so has Merlin.</p>
<p>The door on his side finally opens, and Merlin grabs his elbow and rests a hand on his back in order to assist him out - not that Arthur’s a <em> girl </em> who needs assisting, mind. He wouldn't even need help if he could just be allowed to look with his<em> own eyes</em>.</p>
<p>(He makes sure to tell Merlin just how much he's not a damsel who needs help - actually, he’s <em> been </em> telling Merlin this for years, now, since Merlin always replies to his 'don't be such a girl, <em>Mer</em>lin' with 'maybe <em>you're</em> the girl, love' - but all that gets him is a disbelieving snort. Arthur thinks that Merlin’s also smirking, but this damn piece of fabric sort of hinders him from truly knowing). </p>
<p>Merlin wraps an arm around his waist, hand resting itself in the pocket on the other side of his body, as he leads Arthur to this unknown location he never really gave any information about. At all. Which, actually, in hindsight - </p>
<p>“Oh, my god,” he suddenly says, loudly, as if it’s a revelation, “I knew there was something about you. You’re going to murder me, aren’t you? Jesus. I should’ve known the last three years were just a means to an end. It’s all been leading up to this, hasn’t it? Lord, I haven’t even completed my will. My father is going to be furious.”</p>
<p>He can almost hear Merlin rolling his eyes, as if the sheer intensity of his exasperation isn’t enough to be smelt in the air to let Arthur know exactly how much his boyfriend thinks he’s an over exaggerating idiot. </p>
<p>(Which is just unfair, because with a boyfriend like Merlin, he can never be so idiotic that the idiot - Merlin - can’t beat him in the idiocy game. Also, really, <em> nothing </em> is an over exaggeration with Merlin, so.)</p>
<p>“I don’t see why that matters,” Merlin says, because he’s a horribly horrible boyfriend, and Arthur takes back everything he has ever said that implies otherwise, “if you’re going to be dead.”</p>
<p>“Merlin, please don't insult my intelligence. We both know my father would find a way to make me suffer in the after life.” </p>
<p>A hum of agreement in his ear sends shivers down his spine.</p>
<p>“Bring you to life just to kill you again?”</p>
<p>“Exactly -” and it’s true, too. If there’s anyone who can find a way to bring back the dead, it’s Uther Pendragon, and all to scold his son. What a cheery thought. </p>
<p>“Right,” Merlin sounds skeptical - as if he doesn’t believe him, which is just silly since he has <em> met </em> Uther, and thus knows <em> perfectly well </em> what he’s like. “Anyway, Arthur, if I was going to murder you, I would not have waited this long. Putting up with you for three years is just <em>not</em> worth it.”</p>
<p>Arthur sputters indignantly, whipping his head to his side that Merlin’s on. <em> Horribly horrible boyfriend. The worst boyfriend literally ever. </em></p>
<p>“I - I am, too!” He puts as much arrogance as he can to the lift of his chin, and sniffs, “any murderer would love to spend time with me.”</p>
<p>Merlin snorts again, and Arthur starts to think that out of all of Merlin’s quirks, his disbelieving snort is the one thing he would not miss <em> at all </em> if it were to one day - blessedly - disappear. (And he <em> means </em> that, he does!)</p>
<p>“Whatever you say, dear.”</p>
<p>“I bet they'd be falling over themselves to spend time with me, really.” </p>
<p>“Look,” Merlin replies, not dignifying that with a reply, “do you really want to discuss how assassins would go about murdering you? Because then I’m obliged to tell you that they wouldn't get past me, anyway, so there's no point.”</p>
<p>And if his eyes weren’t covered and closed, he’d be rolling them in order to distract himself from doing something <em> extremely </em> embarrassing, like blushing and smiling at how warm and pleased that reply makes him. Because it’s not pleasing at all, no. Nope. Really, if anything, it’s annoying.</p>
<p>(It <em> is! </em> Christ.)</p>
<p>“Merlin, what exactly are you going to do?” </p>
<p>“I'm going to protect you, obviously.”</p>
<p>(It’s annoying, it’s annoying, it’s annoying and he <em> is not </em> blushing! He <em> isn’t!</em>)</p>
<p>“Please, if anything, I'd have to protect <em> you</em>,” Arthur replies in his haughtiest tone, because he - like Merlin - is really much more predictable than he’d like to admit, and the only way he knows how to deal with this damn unfurling of his stomach is through deflection. Like any man, naturally. “I can take care of myself, thanks -”</p>
<p>Which, of course, is exactly when he trips on a tree root (because God decided only <em> now </em> to make His presence known, and all to show Arthur that He is <em> not on his side</em>) and only doesn't go tumbling (to his <em> death</em>, christ, where did Merlin <em> bring </em> them?) because of Merlin’s arm around him. Damn.</p>
<p>Merlin laughs, briefly stopping them to press his forehead against Arthur’s temple, and kisses his cheek.</p>
<p>(Maybe Arthur can blame the cold weather on his ever growing blush?)  </p>
<p>“I'm sure you’re right.”</p>
<p>“God, shut <em> up, </em> Merlin.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed!! :D</p></blockquote></div></div>
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